Crab Humor
I love this sign Connie and I saw near the Plymouth Rock on the Cape!
The following little jokes are clean and all feature one of our dear friends.
Reggie walks into a restaurant and asks, "Do you serve crabs here?"
The waitress say's, " we serve anyone".
Wayne asked, "Why wouldn't the crab share his toys?"
MIcky replied, "Because he was shellfish!"
A lonely female crab, named Mary, was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
Impressed by his talent, Mary decided to marry him immediately.
The next morning Mary noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".
Tim lived in a small town whose economy revolved around the crab seafood industry. One day Tim went and purchased an awesome new crabbing boat. The only problem was it wasn't crab season, but he thought nothing of it and went out to catch some crabs anyway. Tim was out on the water all day but only caught one crab; he was shattered. All of a sudden the water police pulled up out of nowhere and say, " what do you think you're doing catching crabs; it isn't even crab season?"
Tim responded, "I'm not catching crabs"..
The water police said, "What do you call that then?", pointing at the crab Tim caught.
"Oh" Tim said "That's my pet crab"
The police officer getting mad said "b*llsh*t I'm giving you a $500 fine"
Tim said, "Hang on, I'll prove it. I'll put my crab in the water and a minute later he'll swim back to me"
The police officer agrees so Tim puts the crab in the water..
A few minutes go by and the police officer growls, "OK where is the crab"
Tim says, "What crab?"
Connie noticed that crabs have ten legs, which make them very agile, but oddly enough they are terrible dancers because of their 5 left feet.
Brian boards an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs.
A female crew member took it and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.
Shortly before landing, she couldn't remember who gave her the package, so she announced to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in Sydney please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them herself!
Impressed by his talent, Mary decided to marry him immediately.
The next morning Mary noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".
Tim lived in a small town whose economy revolved around the crab seafood industry. One day Tim went and purchased an awesome new crabbing boat. The only problem was it wasn't crab season, but he thought nothing of it and went out to catch some crabs anyway. Tim was out on the water all day but only caught one crab; he was shattered. All of a sudden the water police pulled up out of nowhere and say, " what do you think you're doing catching crabs; it isn't even crab season?"
Tim responded, "I'm not catching crabs"..
The water police said, "What do you call that then?", pointing at the crab Tim caught.
"Oh" Tim said "That's my pet crab"
The police officer getting mad said "b*llsh*t I'm giving you a $500 fine"
Tim said, "Hang on, I'll prove it. I'll put my crab in the water and a minute later he'll swim back to me"
The police officer agrees so Tim puts the crab in the water..
A few minutes go by and the police officer growls, "OK where is the crab"
Tim says, "What crab?"
Connie noticed that crabs have ten legs, which make them very agile, but oddly enough they are terrible dancers because of their 5 left feet.
Brian boards an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs.
A female crew member took it and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.
Shortly before landing, she couldn't remember who gave her the package, so she announced to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in Sydney please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them herself!